A lesson from Kenny Rodgers

You gotta know when to hold 'em
This is a tough one.  As much as the compassionate and caring instincts kick in, you don't need to rescue your child every time they are frightened or hurt.  As much as YOU need to comfort them, sometimes THEY need to work through an owie or hurt feelings themselves.  Knowing the difference can be challenging, but if you are always rescuing you are doing it more than they need you to.

Sometimes T needs a little extra love after nap.  We have an agreement that if she needs this closeness she asks to hold my hand or sit in my lap.  This is what works for her, as opposed to crying or randomly clinging to my leg. 

Know when to fold 'em
Start trying to recognize losing battles.  The best way around these is avoiding them all together, by choosing your battles carefully.  If you find yourself in a losing battle, don't be afraid to admit defeat (once in a while).  There is no point in a power struggle with a preschooler, but don't forget to explain your thoughts, and make it clear that your directions have changed.

I'm not okay with the kids sitting in the water table, but I decided not to say anything because these two were playing beauty shop and their interaction was way more important than convincing them to get off the table. (I actually just hid on the patio until I noticed other kids going to join in.  Then I pretended that I had just noticed.  Ten kids on the table would've been a little much.)

Know when to walk away 
This is my current favorite and it's working like a charm!  I noticed myself talking in circles several times a day.  It always starts like this, "I can't do it."  To which I respond, "You need to try." Then it continues, "I need help.  Can you help me?"  "I can't help you if you're not going to try.  Helping doesn't mean doing it for you........"  One day I got smart and walked away.  "I'm going outside now.  You can come outside once your shoes are on."  A miracle almost always ensues!

B usually puts his shoes on without help, but on a rough day he might need more time and space to do it independently.

Know when to run
I like to take this one as a reminder to have fun.  Play games, do art and get dirty with the kids!

Our new sub plays a racing game with the girls.  I'm amazed at how quickly he was accepted and loved by our group!  Way to play, David!



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