tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16767685601279599462024-03-20T19:23:03.575-07:00Beansprouts Preschool BlogThe Preschool Years | Early Childhood Education, Preschool, and Parenting BlogBeansproutshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13387723469724887825noreply@blogger.comBlogger260125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676768560127959946.post-89628027957787063452022-03-24T07:35:00.002-07:002022-03-24T07:36:27.400-07:00Wrestling is good for children.Originally published Sept 2010
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Many of our parents seemed shocked when they came to pick up their children from Beansprouts and found them all wrestling on a mat in the middle of the yard. No one questioned it, so I'm assuming they trust our judgment that much : )<br />
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One of my favorite preschool blogs, who I have probably linked to in the past, is Teacher Tom. He discusses wrestling in the following posts: <br />
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<a href="http://teachertomsblog.blogspot.com/2009/06/why-we-wrestle_19.html">Why We Wrestle</a><br />
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<a href="http://teachertomsblog.blogspot.com/2010/09/they-went-home-tired.html">They Went Home Tired</a><br />
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<a href="http://teachertomsblog.blogspot.com/2010/01/wrestling-2010.html">Wrestling 2010</a><br />
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And he also refers to <a href="http://progressiveearlychildhoodeducation.blogspot.com/2010/01/wrestling.html">this link</a>, which is also nice.<br />
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Before:<br />
Hugging=squeezing and falling<br />
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the point was to help kids take cues from others, make contact with one another in a way that was rough but still fun, hard to take cues when too many kids and three-four at a time worked really well. we split the group up into the blue group and the rainbow group (that was also a great way to solidify their recognition of their own group) we also split it up boys and girls. six seemed to become the tipping point. plus they got to work on starting and stopping (took practice) because as we switched groups, the previous group would have to get off and this took practice for all of them. It seemed that when they were in smaller groups, they self-regulated whether they wanted "wrestling" or "tumbling", as teacher tom differentiates in his post. Often there was a flow, as the children alternated between wrestling and tumbling.<br />
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Also we did have to<br />
make sure it was "fun" for everyone. When it looked to the teacher that it wasn't "fun", we would ask and modify if needed. And certain ground rules are in place. hitting and kicking and clothes pulling are not allowed for obvious reasons. one of the children started using the word "punch" and we make it very clear that we're not going to let that child punch at preschool. It's been interesting to watch the children make their own interpretations of wrestling, and for some, it's mimicking what they've seen on tv (fighting) and the teachers are always there to make sure that the children understand that it's not fighting, it's just a game, and those children get to re-define their own scripts about physical contact (competing with mass media messages is one of the biggest challenges of a teacher, so if they come away with a new definition of rough physical contact with others, then we've done our job here)<br />
sometimes we just held an ice pack waiting for the first injury, but whenever a child got injured, they inevitably held the ice on their injury for just a moment, and then returned to the game. I loved that they were willing to take a risk to participate in a group activity and connect with their peers.<br />
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Every now and then we'll get two or three crying kids at once. It happens about every other wrestling session, not every time. And each time I wonder if maybe we're giving them two much freedom, but seeing how willing the hurt children are to resume the activity, I'm reminded that preschool fun (and learning) has inherent risks. Everything they do has risks. Doesn't mean we keep them in a bubble. <br />
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After:<br />
They've sort of lost interest in wrestling. They've transitioned into a new physical contact bonding ... the cat game. They all pretend like they are cats, each a member of the cat family, and identify themselves according to their moods or other internal attributes like the "angry" cat or the "grumpy" can or the "bad" kitty or the "tired" kitty. Considering that family dramatic play is new, this is a significant leap in their social and cognitive experience at school. They paw at each other, lick each other (we encourage them to "pretend" so we don't spread germs), push each other around for space on the cat beds (old couch cushions that we have in the yard). Sometimes three children participate, sometimes it's almost the entire group. It's wonderful.<br />
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It's also been great for those children whse social skills are still raw, the social interest just showing up and still resorting to younger-two strategies to enter into play with other children. For a few of these children, strategies for engaging other children were hitting, grabbing, pushing, hugging to hard, taking the child's toys, and other inappropriate ways of getting attention. Wrestling sort of "assigned" rough physical contact to the game of wrestling, making it sort of ridiculous to use it in other contexts. Some bonding occurred as well.<br />
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A lot of what they learn is how to engage in physical play safely, they learn awareness of who is in their space, how much is "too" much.<br />
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Beckett's breakthroughsBeansproutshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13387723469724887825noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676768560127959946.post-63912760446521305582020-06-24T10:39:00.001-07:002020-06-24T10:51:59.731-07:00The most important skillI am convinced that there is one single factor that matters most in learning and success. It's not memory, vocabulary, visual or auditory receptivity, social skills. These things all do help. I have spoken about my thoughts on <a href="http://beansproutspreschool.blogspot.com/2011/02/social-development-paves-way-for.html" target="_blank">how social development drives academic learning in preschool.</a> However, under all of this is an even more important skill -- the ability to persist, walk through discomfort, climb over those steep learning curves. It is tenacity in the face of challenge.<br />
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Puzzles are a great metaphor but also a great real life example of this. Successful jigsaw puzzle construction does not require the ability to map out the puzzle's image in your head, or to be able to predict angles and pieces fitting, or the ability to make accurate placement based on "edge" pieces or "center" pieces. Success depends simply on the ability to keep trying. Think about the number of small actions required to do a 48 piece puzzle. Doing a 48 piece puzzle takes hundreds of micro-efforts to find pieces that fit. Trying a certain piece at a certain angle, repositioning, repositioning until the next cognitive event - deciding when you've tried that piece enough times in that spot. Calculating...do I try this piece in another spot or try another piece in this spot? Even a 12 piece puzzle often takes several dozen attempts, several dozen adjustments, several dozen failures, several dozen flash decisions. This doesn't even take into consideration the amount of fine motor control being exercised, which is already a cognitive task to some degree. It also doesn't take into account the sheer number of distractions in a normal classroom environment. The brain is filtering through a lot of input for the entire duration of the task.</div>
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In the practice of early childhood education, we are not teaching academics as much as we are helping forge a positive relationship between child and learning. We look for ways that we can help bring a child's experience into the range of what is challenging enough for the effort to feel rewarding when completed, but not so challenging that the distress overrides the desire to complete the task, or worse, that the distress overrides the reward upon task completion. In learning theory, this is called "just right challenge". Children need to walk through challenge, just as we do as adults. But so often, it is emotionally hard for us, or just plain inconvenient, for us to allow the child to struggle. So we step in more than necessary, robbing the child of an opportunity to practice in a small yet meaningful way, the ability to produce all those micro-efforts that eventually lead to a feeling of efficacy and internal reward. </div>
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What are those ways that we are helping because it's more convenient for us? When do we fail to see that the child is within their <a href="http://www.innovativelearning.com/educational_psychology/development/zone-of-proximal-development.html" target="_blank">zone of proximal development</a>, their zone of "<a href="http://northshorefamilies.com/how-to-challenge-a-child/" target="_blank">just right challenge</a>", and we have taken away their chance to experience a tolerable number of micro-efforts (not micro-actions, but micro-<i>efforts</i>) that will allow them to witness their own process of effort-->discomfort-->success, observing themselves walking through that discomfort and observing themselves on the other side of that learning curve. Learning curves <i>can</i> be, but rarely are, comfortable, especially when it's about learning a brand new skill and one that offers a sense of efficacy that makes it rewarding. The higher the level of tolerable challenge, the higher the level of intrinsic reward. </div>
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<span style="background-color: white; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Sticktoitiveness* really is the most important thing to try to cultivate in oneself. Delayed gratification is so important because the opposite (the propensity for instant gratification and giving up on long term goals when facing surmountable challenge) is addictive and so hard to untrain once you allow that pattern to set in.</span></span></div>
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<span class="gmail-XpoqFe">/ˌstikˈto͞oidivnəs/</span></div>
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noun: <b>stick-to-it-iveness</b></div>
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perseverance; persistence.</div>
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stephanieleahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09427676919832135865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676768560127959946.post-51425224735846901782019-07-24T07:38:00.005-07:002019-07-24T10:43:35.396-07:00Mindfulness and emotions<div style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #404040; font-family: opensans, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin-bottom: 12px;">
<span style="background-color: white;">I'm taking a mindfulness course at mindfulschools.org and in one of our discussion boards, someone asked "Emotions are such a huge factor in self-regulation with young students. How do we get them to think about their own emotions without perseverating on those negative emotions? It's very difficult, even for me."</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">The way I understand it is that as we become more mindful of emotions, we are moving from being "in" it, where it's almost like the emotion is having us, to being a witness to it, where we are in a place that allows more acceptance of it -- we can almost referee the emotion. "Oh, I'm feeling anger. I'm feeling it around my stomach and in my chest. That [thing that happened] is happening over there, and my emotion is happening in here". Our role of victim shifts to a role of observer. This been a powerful shift for me since doing this mindfulness training.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">Dan Siegel writes about "top-down" versus "bottom-up" experiencing. Often, when we experience events, we have some sort of past idea about how it will go based on our experiences of similar events in the past. Our mind (rather than our more primal amygdala/survival part of the brain) dictates the experience of the event in a split second. This is top(prefrontal cortex)-down. My mind registers the thing happening, interprets, and my body has a sensation. For instance if I see a wasp, it's not a new experience for me, especially if I'm not being mindful about it. Instead, I see the wasp, my mind reminds me of the times I've been stung, I feel fear, and this dictates my behavior (I run away or go inside). Usually, I'm running away and covering my behind, because that's where I've been stung twice!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">If I'm being mindful, I can use a "bottom-up" approach to this experience of seeing the wasp. I can notice that when that fear comes up, I am able to self-regulate to calm the nervous system, the feelings, and then the mind. How do I self-regulate to support a new response to the wasp? I notice my impulse to run. I take deep and mindful breaths. I become mindful of the fear as I notice where it resides in my body. I am then able to choose a different action. I might choose to simply stand there and wait and see what happens. I can remind myself that I probably won't get stung by simply standing there (creating a new top-down experience for next time!). I can stay in the experience, experience it for the first time. Maybe the fear is there, but maybe it is just a little bit less. Taking this more mindful approach, I become a witness to the experience, rather being victimized by it. My perception of this experience now has an opportunity to change because I am responding to the present, not the past. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">This is my understanding of mindfulness so far. I'm very new at this. But it applies to so many aspects of teaching and being. We can also help children in their bottom-up, self-regulatory process. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">Working with children can be overwhelming when their big emotions come up. Lots of things can be triggered for us adults. Helping children create that observer mindset can be hugely powerful. "You're feeling sadness. What's the like for you?" Suddenly they aren't the victim of the thing "making" them sad. They are a human having an experience. Helping them be present to their emotion, staying present and attuned to them, helps them stay with themselves. Even making eye contact and breathing with them creates a co-regulatory experience that supports a bottom-up deescalating process for them.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">I'm not saying that we have to help children down regulate every time they experience an emotion. I believe children are empowered, resilient beings, and I trust their ability to handle the human experience. There is a balance. We have to learn to organize our feelings slowly. As they become more able to handle their feelings on their own, then my role can be to witness and narrate their process. "You were feeling sad and you began to play again." [Translation: Sadness didn't take over your entire day. You have power and agency even in the midst of emotion]. "She took your toy and you began to yell, but then you looked at the teacher for help" [Translation: your anger did not dictate your behavior]. "You seem really frustrated that your bike is stuck. I wonder what you'll do now?" [Translation: Your frustration is an experience alongside your physical experience of the bike being stuck, and you have choices.]. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">These may seem like simple ideas, but by narrating these experiences to children, who really are coming from a brain-stem oriented experience, it can help them to contextualize these experiences that might seem overwhelming. It can be hard to control our impulse to solve their problem and thereby solve their emotional "crisis". What do we do with our own dysregulation around standing by while the child stretches their zone of ability? As an educator, it's easy for me to envision the other side of these moments, where the child is walking through the growth opportunities. I've seen what lies on the other side - it is powerfully impactful for the child to see their situation from the outside, and from the success side of the challenge, and to witness t their power as agents of change in their own lives. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. Email me - stephanie at beansproutsfamily dot com.</span></div>
stephanieleahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09427676919832135865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676768560127959946.post-70873891272701274212019-07-07T17:28:00.004-07:002019-07-24T08:10:03.198-07:00Narrators<style type="text/css">
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<br />When I sat down to write this, I typed out the title "Children need a cheerleader". But as I was writing, I realized that what I really wanted to address is the power of the narrative.<br /><br />I like to think of myself as a narrator of the children's lives. Narratives have power. How we tell our story not only reflects its current meaning for us, but it re-creates an evolving interpretation as we compose our story.<br /><br />Years ago, I remember, a newer, greener teacher we had, David, said something very powerful. We were talking about why we narrate the children's lives back to them. For instance, we would notice, and say out loud, "there goes Tomas with a huge bucket! I wonder where he is taking it?" or "Sara looks like she's trying to decide what to do about Aden taking her doll". David noted that by reflecting back what we see to the children, it brings their consciousness back into what they are doing in that moment. Children move so quickly sometimes, it's easy for them to get lost in their fast-paced activity. How often are we mindlessly walking through each moment, impulsively and habitually behaving and acting? When we act on habit, we are responding to the past. But this moment, the present, the new version of the situation, might call for a different course of action, or may draw our attention to a different nuance of the situation, or might present a new opportunity. By narrating out loud what we see, the children can return to the moment and return to themselves.<br /><br />Narrating also takes the adult out of the situation in a more visible way. We want children to own their experience, to own their behavior, to own the unfolding of each activity. They so easily fall back into approval-seeking from the teacher, looking to the adult for cues on what to do or what is okay. By narrating, we create the illusion that we are coming from afar. We communicate to the children that "I'm over here because you are capable and powerful and you can handle this." <br /><br />That doesn't, however, mean we cannot still be their cheerleader. <br /><br />"Wow, Dillon chose to help Maddie, and now look at the big block tower they've made together!" or, more directly to the child, "I noticed you decided to ask for the red marker back instead of grabbing it and that seemed to work really well for you to get it back!"<br /><br />We are noting, out loud, the child's choices and consequences rather than involving ourselves in the process, which can often become intrusive and detract from the organic process between children. This allowing is deeply empowering for the child. It reveres the children's sense of agency and competency to live freely as an initiator of change. By narrating, we facilitate a narrative for the children of self-empowerment and contribution to their own sense of self.<br /><br />We strive toward objectivity with our words (even though our feelings are often portrayed through our tone, posture, etc.). Things like "I'm so proud of you" or "you did a good job", while complimentary, are judgmental and highly subjective. Without going into much discussion about the "inverse power of praise" (see the work of Alfie Kohn and Carol Dweck for more), praise can be hugely detrimental to children. It creates a "praise junkie" mentality and sends the message that what I think about your activity matters disproportionately more than it should. What matters is what the child thinks and feels. What matters is the intrinsic experience. To have that be judged by an adult--yuck. Something so precious--the inner work--should stay sacred.<br /><br />It's so tempting to want to be right there giving all the positive feedback, though. It feels good to see the kids feel good. Everyone is happy, so what's the problem? <br /><br />The problem is that today's happiness is tomorrow's insecurity. "Will they like my painting if I don't do it the way I did it yesterday?" or "The teacher isn't telling me she's proud of me this time...WHY NOT?" "Am I still ok even though I'm not getting compliments?" They will begin to wait for your judgment, ahem, I mean compliment, every time they produce something, and over time, lose that internal sense of pride and intrinsic value in their work. And what's worse, they will begin to lose their sense of that inner quiet self, that small voice inside that we call intuition. The new point of reference is external validation. We want to continually bring that back inward.<br /><br />It feels good to be noticed. It feels good to simply be seen. We don't need to judge to do that. We just need to BE THERE. Not on our phones. Not half listening. Not patronizing to show how much you're listening. Be. There. Take a minute. Take a few minutes. Honor the space around the child by allowing it to be whatever it is.<br /><br />We can narrate. We can notice. We can comment pleasantly with a healthy degree of enthusiasm. We can be close to the child and be quiet. We can remember that just by being there as a silent yet attentive witness, we are doing a great service to the children. <br /><br /><div>
---<br /><br />Food for thought - so, you are taking yourself out of the equation and not trying to dictate or change the child's experience. What, then, is your role? I'd love to hear your comments.<br /><br /><br /><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-SdM4Aoj8wRw/XSV0wbWOkpI/AAAAAAABkEk/cXlTWMtz72cIafShKdMn3IxWNChl9PWVgCLcBGAs/s1600/FlmLFGUhTnSw7z16zU7lhA.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-SdM4Aoj8wRw/XSV0wbWOkpI/AAAAAAABkEk/cXlTWMtz72cIafShKdMn3IxWNChl9PWVgCLcBGAs/s320/FlmLFGUhTnSw7z16zU7lhA.jpg" /></a></div>
stephanieleahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09427676919832135865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676768560127959946.post-76370926304249851362019-02-28T14:20:00.000-08:002019-02-28T14:20:00.556-08:00Yes Day<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">
There are many reasons for me to say no to children's various requests. Safety concerns, schedule and time limitations, limited supplies, limited manpower to supervise and clean up messes, generally not feeling like putting one more thing on our agenda that day. </div>
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But if I am going to be really honest, I often say no because I have been conditioned to, in the interest of running a smooth, safe preschool program for children, assume that the worst case scenario can and will happen. If I let them dance on the table, they can and definitely will fall off and break a limb. If I let them run in the classroom, they will obviously slip and crack their head on the corner of a shelf. If I let them use the water from the handwashing station for their sand and mud play, they will definitely do this every day without regard to how cold or late or inconvenient it is to be in wet muddy clothes. </div>
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What I am saying is, 90% of the time I say no, it comes from my own fear and not necessarily on reality. There is a part of the brain called the Cingulate Gyrus that is overactive or imbalanced in some people (like me), where, in the interest of self-preservation, will automatically interject a "no" without a thought process to support it. I have learned that I have to outsmart this part of my limbic system when I find myself saying "no" too often. </div>
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It becomes tricky here at Beansprouts because the children feel really comfortable asking for things from the teachers. Today, for instance, they asked for chalk to stomp on. I repeated back, unsure whether I heard them right. "You want pieces of chalk to smash with your feet?" "Yes," said the spokesperson of the group, "we need you to get us some sidewalk chalk for stomping". Since it was a yes day, I gave them all one piece of chalk...with the instruction "only one piece each"... which I TOTALLY regret because, well, in my mind I was thinking they were wasting chalk. Despite my best efforts, I had managed to insert a little "no" into my "yes". Looking back, I see that letting them stomp <i>all</i> of the chalk would not have been a waste of supplies at all. How is drawing with chalk any more valuable than stomping and smashing chalk? It was a blast for them, and the collective energy around this chalk stomping was surreal. Saying yes to chalk allowed an activity that offered a social experience more valuable than what I could have been able to manufacture myself.</div>
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(Side note: a little while later, someone asked to draw a hopscotch game on the patio, so luckily we still had some unstomped chalk!)</div>
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Today's Yes day started at the morning art table. We were using felt-tipped markers on paper towels and paper. We discovered that applying water (ahem, or my coffee) with our fingertips diffused the color and turned the paper towel into art that could transfer to the white paper underneath it. The kids asked for more water as their little dishes ran low, and my cingulate gyrus presented me with a beautifully frightening image of an art table that runneth over with marker tinted water, down to the floor, kids slipping, sopping wet clothes. But I said Yes, because this was my commitment to myself and our school today. And they did end up pouring bowls full of water onto their drawings (see our Instagram post). </div>
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But guess what? Even though they were, as a group, at that table for thirty minutes or more with unlimited water refills, I did not find one drop of water on the floor, and rarely had to clean up any water from the table. Again, if I had limited them to one container of water, it would have limited their interest, limited their time at the table, limited their ability to bring this project to its full fruition. I would have stunted their creative expression and artistic development.</div>
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Not every day can be a "say yes to everything" day like today. But for today, Yes was my priority. Yes to the child who asked to free climb from the picnic table to the side of the climbing structure. Yes to the kid who asked to have snack 45 minutes early. Yes to all of the kids who raised their hands at story time to share something that ended up being the same thing they shared from the page before. Yes to the kid visually checking in with me to see if it was okay that she was stomping in puddles. Yes to the child who "needed" to change their pants because there was a smudge of dirt on the pocket. Yes to the friend who asked to make several off-topic announcements throughout the portion of circle time that I really wanted to talk about our quality of self-care. Why not? </div>
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In the grand scheme of themes, saying no to these things makes <i>my</i> life more convenient, but in what ways does it rob them? What if that child sharing at circle time is the one memory she takes from today? Or what if the child who asked to change his pants was really trying to alleviate a scratchy seam, but because that was more than he could verbalize, he asked instead to change his pants because of this little smudge of dirt? Maybe my impulsivity toward "no" comes from seeing only a small slice of reality.</div>
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Every time I implement a "yes" day, I benefit. Ultimately, it is for the children. I want to reset and reboot and remind them of how much freedom and independence and trust and respect we give them. But what I get in return is priceless. I get to overcome my own fears and anxieties, my worst-case-scenario thinking that limits our collective opportunity. I get to unpack and inspect my real motives for saying "no". What a gift to be in this profession, where everything I do gets reflected back to me in a way that lends itself to personal growth. </div>
stephanieleahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09427676919832135865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676768560127959946.post-33342641069751305052019-02-25T14:17:00.002-08:002019-02-25T14:17:07.858-08:00The Power of Pretend Play<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">
<br class="Apple-interchange-newline" />A few years ago I got a master's degree in human development. My first thesis, before my epic hard drive crash where I lost all of my data and changed topics altogether, was on the power of pretend play. Specifically, it was a discussion of animal pretend play, and how when children take on animal personas, they get to explore these parts of themselves that they don't feel safe exploring in their own personal reality. </div>
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I had a child who never participated in circle time - until he discovered that he could be a kangaroo. Slowly, he began participating at circle time, first with small movements of his kangaroo paws, then with verbal participation as if from a kangaroo, and eventually, the child opened up as himself in front of the group. Another child witnessed domestic abuse, and for the next several days, she pretended she was a cat, narrating her story from the cats perspective in the context of pretend play rather than from her own very real, human, traumatic experience. </div>
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I read a snippet from a book this morning about how children discover their ethical prosocial selves in play. </div>
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In the context of play, I see children acting out important themes that come up often in their lives - themes of conflict, empowerment, misbehavior, disobedience, cooperation, helping, not helping, including others, being included, intimacy, separation, enemies and friendship, death and rebirth, having superpowers beyond measure, and being stripped of those superpowers. It's a bold thing to, in the context of make believe play, tell your pretend mom that you're not going to come home that day. Or to realize that one of your pretend family members have died and you must now avenge their death (although 99% of the time, the dead family member "wakes up" within a couple of minutes). Now imagine - just imagine - that you're a younger kid in the group, admiring the older kids from afar because you can't quite keep up with their games and dialogues and unspoken rules - and then suddenly, they let you be "the baby" in your game, and you now have access to this group of kids you have been longing to play with for weeks or months. Gaining entry into a coveted social group is a priceless experience afforded often in pretend play scenarios. Almost every game needs a one of the more submissive characters, and the younger kids are almost always willing to take on those roles - the baby sister, the baby brother, the pet dog, the bunny (doesn't every game have a bunny?).</div>
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By experiencing all of these themes in <i>real life</i> (because their play IS their real life, in that moment), they experience, the safest way, the consequences of various parts of themselves - including their ethical and moral selves. They witness responses from the other children, and learn about behavior and taking others' perspectives and thinking for and as a group, rather than for their isolated selves.</div>
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And we see children taking breaks from the group play, to play alone and process and assimilate all of this. And to spend time in solitude, to nurture another part of their selves.</div>
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And in this way, children create their own learning environment in a profound, meaningful way. The teachers? We just set the stage. The kids are taking on the lead roles here.</div>
stephanieleahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09427676919832135865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676768560127959946.post-76106490230999668732019-02-14T21:46:00.002-08:002019-02-14T21:46:50.456-08:00Valentine's Day<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">
We had a wonderful family visiting this morning to tour our preschool.</div>
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It seemed like for the duration of this tour, things were spilling, falling, crashing. At one point, a child accentuated this theme when she had the wonderful and creative and powerful idea of jumping off the bench onto the large magna-tile structure she had built. She looked like godzilla landing on a relatively tiny skyscraper. It was amazing, and totally captured the pattern of the morning. The mom that was here noted, "there must be a full moon or something". And yet while it all appeared to be in chaos, when you looked at the children's faces, or watched their reactions to the baskets of blocks getting knocked over, or the marker block upturning and markers rolling everywhere - they were totally at ease. And this made me feel at ease.</div>
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However, when the touring family left, I felt like we were going to need a little reset. Like, come on, the rest of the day can't possibly go on like this or I'll be going crazy cleaning up little messes everywhere.</div>
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So I told myself, at circle time, even though I have a million things planned bc of the holiday, it must be a venue for centering and grounding ourselves.</div>
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We started circle time in the usual manner. Songs and such. Then we continued the passing out of Valentines, which we did differently this year. Instead of the usual "drop the card in each mailbox" method, the children were carrying their tote bags and personally exchanged Valentines. This brief but powerful interpersonal exchange was so beautiful to witness. The smiles, the eye contact, the seeking out of the person they were trying to hand off a card to, the excitement, the spontaneous hugs and kids telling each other "Happy Valentines Day". I have to admit, it was one of the most special Valentines Day circles that I can remember.</div>
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This sense of validation, of personal attunement and connection, being seen, being valued, being thought about. I really think this was so special to the children. Not only is this special to the children, but it is an innate need and necessary part of healthy development. And this is a group of children that really seems to get some of these deeper more subtle aspects of human interchange. I mean, they are still preschoolers, testing boundaries and what not, but they function at a high level - while they don't always act on it, they have an emotional and social literacy that seems to me to be very advanced.</div>
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My favorite part of circle lasted about 2.5 seconds. I was about to hand the children my Valentines. My very impersonal, plastic, just bought at Target two days ago, Valentines. Plastic heart-shaped glasses and stencil rulers. I even opened the packages right at circle time as I was explaining to the kids how I would pass them out. It was a poorly planned gift to say the least. But here comes my favorite part. I told them that after each of them got to choose the color of their gifts, I would then tell them something I loved about them. And I saw their faces light up. They were thrilled to hear this! And it reminded me that not only are they special to me, but I am special to them.</div>
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Yesterday, I asked each child at circle if I could be their Valentine or if they could be my Valentine. They all agreed enthusiastically except for one resistant child, who came around by the end of circle when she realized that you aren't limited to one Valentine. As one of our circle time love songs go, "Love is something if you give it away - you end up having more."</div>
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Happy Valentine's Day!</div>
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stephanieleahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09427676919832135865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676768560127959946.post-70892897331315697862018-07-23T17:40:00.003-07:002018-07-23T17:40:44.093-07:00We'll just skip circle time today.This morning, I thought the kids and I would go outside a little extra early, enjoy the nice cool weather, do the art project I had planned in the beautiful outdoors. <br /><br />However, each time I asked the children if they were ready for circle time, which is what we do before heading outside for snack and outdoor play, they said no. <br /><br />It was clear that they were <i>really</i> enjoying their indoor play time. With each other. With our stuff. The vibe of our small class size in the summer.<br /><br /><br />I asked again at 9:45 whether they were ready to finish up inside and move on to circle time. I asked at 9:50. I asked at 10. I asked at 10:15. They repeatedly said no. It became clear they were not motivated to do anything except to continue the play themes they had spent the whole morning constructing.<br /><br />I wanted to honor their play. That's why I asked to do circle rather than telling them. Usually, I say "It's time for circle". Today, I asked "Do you want to clean up for circle tiem?". They just seemed so invested in their play, and what was it to me, whether we stuck to the schedule or not?<br /><br />Finally at around 10:45, I started getting antsy. If we have circle too late, snack is too late, children get hangry, the whole systems fails. So I thought, hm, they can sacrifice circle time if they want. I'll just have an extra social snack time so we can all feel seen and heard and connected. That's the point of circle time, anyway.<br /><br />I was sure they would skip circle time in lieu of extra play time. And, I'm not going to say my feelings weren't a little hurt that they didn't care about "my" circle time, which I consider fun and something that elicits loads of motivation and participation and excitement. I started doubting myself. Maybe I've lost my teaching mojo and my circle times are no longer fun or interesting. Maybe I've lost that magic of creating a circle time that induces a sense of wholeness to the individual and the group and builds up our little community members. Maybe I've lost my touch. My circle time used to be so outrageous and spontaneous and fun. I guess it's turned hum drum and they would just rather free play all day.<br /><br />So I offered them a circle time alternative. I announced this to the group:<div>
<br />"If you would rather play an extra three minutes than have circle time, I'm willing to let you do that. But if you take the extra time to play, no circle, because we have to have snack soon." <br /><br />That's when I heard the murmurs. "What? No circle?" "Then when will circle time be?" "What did Stephanie say?" <br /></div>
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Mass confusion ensued until one spokesperson said "Okay, we'll take circle time". They promptly began putting toys away.<br /><br />Why did they take the circle time option? My ego tells me it's because I'm fun and know how to make that time engaging for kids and I'm this old experienced teacher who just know how it's done. My more logical brain tells me that its because even tho they loved the make believe play that was happening, they are still children, and children need to feel the sense of routine, and they want to come together for this special group time to be seen and heard and acknowledged.<br /><br />I'm honored to be a part of this. So deeply honored.</div>
stephanieleahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09427676919832135865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676768560127959946.post-68638239461470295262018-07-17T09:50:00.001-07:002018-07-17T10:07:02.343-07:00Space to Feel<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br /><img border="0" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BvvjLMKMnF8/W04YX5aT3WI/AAAAAAABj7I/BTOkoNGv4CMSx8NGrmEifhz-cPVvHc_FwCEwYBhgL/s320/circle%2Btime%2Bfeelings%2Blist.jpeg" /> <br /><br /><br />Children's responses to "would you like to share your feelings today?" <br /><br /><br />This <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BlVxFVgHOz0/">list of feelings</a> emerged in our circle time conversation today. I would like to share the complexity of feelings that emerge in our group time. It was a very honest and organic conversation.<br /><br /><br /> Some days, I plan our circle time. Other days, I am spontaneous. Most days, the kids let me know what we're doing, whether verbally or just showing me that they aren't interested in my plan. Circle time is pretty flexible. We're always ready to change the course. <br /><br /><br />On this particular day, we would be singing songs. Before circle time started, I noticed a little wooden toy on the floor. I asked the child sitting next to me to put it away. When she returned to circle after putting away the toy, her seat had been taken by another child. I waited to see what she would do and she seemed content to sit in another spot. Normally i would save that spot since she was doing a job, but she didn't seem bothered in the moment and didn't ask for her seat back.<br /><br />However, as circle time progressed, I noticed she had a sour facial expression and didn't seem too thrilled when it was her turn during the good morning song. <br /><br /><br />When that song was over, I announced to the group that I noticed some feelings at our circle time and asked if anyone would like to share their feelings.<br /><br /><br />I reminded them about a story from the day before - a story where a grumpy joey (baby kangaroo) who woke up feeling grumpy. It's a very sweet story, where the mama kangaroo tries to cheer up the joey. However, what I honed in on in this story was the mother kangaroo's persistence in cheering up her baby. When one strategy didn't work, she would move on to the next - hugs, distraction, jokes, games.<br /> <br /><br />We talked about the idea of cheering someone up versus trying to change their feelings when they don't want help. We talked about ways to ask for help, for instance asking for a hug or asking to be cheered up. Sometimes we just want to feel our feelings, which is a trend that I've observed with this group of children. That's not to say they are unique in this way -- perhaps I have not tuned in to this with prior groups.<br /><br /><br />The same day, a child at story time didn't like the way I corrected her behavior, and she was quiet with folded arms (something I'd describe as "pouting"). I felt uncomfortable by her sadness and wanted to comfort her. Moreover, I wanted to control how she perceived me in my teaching efforts. I offered her a hug. She declined. I let her have the space to feel the emotion and she recovered quickly. But I SO BADLY wanted to "fix" her feeling.<br /> <br /><br />A couple of guiding principles of my teaching philosophy are:<br /><br />1. no one is in charge of anyone else's feelings<br /><br />and<br /><br /><br />2. feelings, positive or negative, are okay and normal parts of our life.<br /><br /><br />We welcome and talk about feelings A LOT. Not in a way that creates a sense of victimhood and "poor me". We talk about feelings in a matter of fact way. It's okay to have them, feel them, not have them (because sometimes I really want kids to feel the "positive" feelings!).<br /><br /><br />I let the children know that when they share their feelings at circle time, I won't try to change the way they feel. They get to have whatever feeling they want. Feelings are welcome in our safe space. This seemed to allow them to get more vulnerable and share the darker feelings (as you might notice on the feelings list in the photo).<br /><br /><br />Each child went around the circle and each person was offered time to share their feelings. If they chose to share, they were asked if they'd like to elaborate. I wrote the feelings down (and made little faces to depict the feeling so the children could "read" the feeling). I wanted the feelings to be visible, reflected on this paper where we could see it, have a little more sense of perspective around it, let it be a word and not this whole nebulous overwhelming experience. I wanted to validate the experience while allowing the children to feel bigger and empowered over their feelings.<br /><br /><br />After all, we are not the way we feel. We are not the feeling. Feelings aren't facts. They feel like facts. But they are fleeting experiences. And when we know this, we can offer coping skills and ways to reframe their experiences when the experience is overpowering. We are building emotional literacy, so we can be members of the community who feel compassion and sorrow and excitement and hope, without acting irrationally and impulsively based on a fleeting emotion.<br /><br /><br />The child whose space was taken at circle time - perhaps she needed time. Perhaps she wanted to explore the feeling and just sit with it like a friend for a minute. Maybe she needed words to label the feeling and thereby understand it. <br /><br /><br />My most important role is to create the space, hold the space, allow the space, and be there for when (or if) the child needs my more direct support.<br /><br /><br />---<br /><br /><br />For more from me, visit www.todayatpreschool.com<br />stephanieleahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09427676919832135865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676768560127959946.post-22063177473414969632017-03-26T21:03:00.002-07:002018-07-17T09:16:06.763-07:00Weekend Q&A: When Children Don't Get Their Way<style type="text/css">
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Welcome back to our weekly Q&A!<br />
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<span class="s2">This week, a mom writes:</span></div>
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<span class="s2"><i>Here's our top issue right now: How to offer help or coping mechanisms when dealing with feelings of frustration when things are hard or don't go the way you want. </i></span></div>
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<span class="s2">After I inquired further on this question, I understood that the parent was referring to the child's ability to manage feelings when things don't go exactly the way she wants. This applied to situations as seemingly trivial as when a pet chicken ate from the ground when the child wanted it to eat from her hand. Big emotions ensue when she tries unsuccessfully to get her way. They have applied new tactics to facilitate more flexible thinking and openness to alternative outcomes. These have improved things to an extent, but the parents ultimately want to know how to help their daughter figure out what to do with her strong emotions as she continues to learn more mature coping skills.</span></div>
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<span class="s2">Many parents struggle with this, so it's the perfect topic for a Q&A post!</span></div>
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<span class="s2">I want to note here that the ideas expressed here are simply a collection of the most common problems and solutions that I've seen when working with individual families. This is by no means an exhaustive list of strategies and does not take into consideration every possible case. After working with dozens of families over the years, however, I have seen recurring patterns. These are the insights and/or suggestions that I would make, based on some of the most common core issues that I've seen over the years. </span></div>
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<span class="s2">Less emotionally charged moments are great opportunities to practice emotional coping skills.</span></div>
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<span class="s2">Try not to fix the child's smaller disappointments throughout the day. Small let downs are easier to appease, but these are the best times for children to practice new emotional coping skills because they are less charged and usually less escalated. Children need to experience small disappointments in order to learn how to handle larger ones. I'm not suggesting that you let your child walk around in a perpetual state of frustration. I am saying that children need experiences that allow them to be disappointed so that when larger, more meaningful situations arise, they have some foundational skills for how to deal.</span></div>
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<span class="s2">In this situation, the daughter seems to be reacting with extreme emotions for what seem to the parents like minor disappointments. This may indicate a need to practice not getting her way in very small micro-situations--situations that may even feel almost meaningless to the child. I suggest paying attention to the less noticeable times when the child gets her way. I'm referring to the smallest, most trivial moments.</span></div>
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<span class="s2">How small? </span></div>
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<span class="s2">The child wants a different thing for breakfast because she decides she doesn't like the pancakes? </span></div>
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<span class="s2">No! That's too big. Let's break it down further. </span></div>
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<span class="s2">The child wants to pour her own syrup so the parents let her with their help? No! That's still too big. </span></div>
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<span class="s2">I'm talking about the microscopic, undetectable-to-the-naked-eye moments. The child wants the syrup on the table but the parents want it back in the fridge (with the promise to get it out if they need more). Yes. This is the scale that I'm talking about. The child knows she will ultimately have it if she wants it, but they are tweaking the situation just a bit by having the syrup in the fridge. </span></div>
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<span class="s2"><br />
</span></div>
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<span class="s2">Practice with the small stuff. The drop of syrup that dripped on her fork so she wants a new fork. Just have her lick it off instead of getting a new fork. This level of triviality is where we get to practice. Or if that's still too big, break it down further. Maybe it's having the child wait an extra second before getting the fork so you can finish pouring everyone's syrup. Whatever it is, it's gotta be something that will only get a 10% rise out of the child's usual 100%. </span></div>
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<span class="s2"><br />
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<div class="p2">
<span class="s2">She may be accustomed to dominating play or interactions with peers and adults and needs stronger boundaries on a more ongoing basis, in situations big and small. The outcome may not bear much weight in the grand scheme of things, but the child will get to practice being flexible and regulating her emotions on yet an even smaller scale. </span></div>
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<span class="s2"><br />
</span></div>
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<span class="s2">Set boundaries around behaviors while still allowing feelings and emotional expression.</span></div>
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<span class="s2">While we don't want to punish feelings, it's okay to set limits on the behaviors around those feelings. Listen, validate the feelings, be present and supportive. Don't allow unsafe, harmful acting out. I personally go as far as to differentiate crying from screaming, because while crying is normal and necessary sometimes, screaming requires a whole different level of tolerance from others nearby. Screaming is often used as a tool to manipulate the situation rather than an emotional outlet. This isn't always the case, and the adult can differentiate the child's motive. Only after the child understands the limits will they find ways to express the feeling without using extreme behaviors.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s2">A child’s big feelings does not dismiss her responsibility in trying to manage her own behavior. Part of the learning to cope is figuring this out. Parents can't do that for the child. We can offer words, space, our presence, but ultimately the adult isn't going to fix the feeling in any lasting way. The solution must come from within the child. Once the child understands that the parent will not try to fix the feelings, she can then move forward and find her own way.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s2"><br />
</span></div>
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<span class="s2">Empathize, but don't be overtaken by the child's emotions.</span></div>
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<span class="s2"><br />
</span></div>
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<span class="s2">Sometimes it may feel appropriate to relate to the child with a story about when you’ve had similar feelings and how you coped. "It's hard when that happens. I lost my favorite stuffed animal once, too". Identification is different than codependent empathy. Don't feel the feeling with the child or for the child, because she needs you to be strong and to see that just because she's having feelings doesn't mean the world is falling apart around her (which is basically what's happening when the parents' emotional stability crumbles). The child needs understanding and empathy but not enmeshment.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s2">Allow her to work through it. She may want to talk to you about it, or you may offer some ways to process it. But ultimately, feeling let down for things not going the way she wanted is the only way she can learn to cope with these feelings in the future.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s2"><br />
</span></div>
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<span class="s2">Prepare the child so she can anticipate problems and adapt her expectations.</span></div>
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<span class="s2"><br />
</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s2">It may help to prepare your child ahead of time if you anticipate where things may go awry. Giving her a little heads up lets her know that you're not going to try to prevent an upset, but you're giving her time to process it. </span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s2"><br />
</span></div>
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<span class="s2">Avoid placating feelings.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s2"><br />
</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s2">One of the more damaging strategies I've seen that is pretty common is when parents pacify children by disregarding their emotions. Avoid statements that undermine a child's experience, such as, "You're okay" or, "Don't cry". Understand that your role is to be present, but not to fix or get the child to be okay with the situation. </span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s2"><br />
</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s2">It may also be tempting to try and ignore the problem or spin the situation to make it look like the child is getting her way. This includes consolation prizes, which first take away a learning opportunity, and second, sets up an expectation that disappointment invariably leads the parents to offer some sort of appeasement. </span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s2"><br />
</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s2">Inasmuch as it doesn't undermine or sidestep the child's authentic experience, feelings, or perception of the problem, use <a href="http://beansproutspreschool.blogspot.com/2017/03/laughter-in-classroom.html"><span class="s3">humor</span></a> to help her move on. </span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s2"><br />
</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s2">Using universal statements like "Life is hard" or "Life is just unfair sometimes" victimizes the child and may create a negative, hopeless worldview. It also communicates, ”Your problem is not unique, life is just hard, so get used to it". This does not respect the child's real, true authentic experience. Instead, focus on the situation at hand: "That didn't seem fair to you" or "You didn't like that you didn't get a turn".</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s2"><br />
</span></div>
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<span class="s2">Communicate trust in the child's ability to succeed.</span></div>
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<span class="s2"><br />
</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s2">Maintain the position that you trust your child to get through this. You don't have to be harsh or firm about it, but when you speak, speak with an authority that she will figure this out. </span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s2">One of my most successful tools for helping children build new emotional or social skills is to acknowledge when they successfully navigate what would normally be a challenge. Point out when the child is being flexible, when she's moving on, when she's expressing herself verbally rather than with an outburst, when she seems to be applying some emotional coping skills for herself. Point out these things so that she, too, can witness herself successfully walking through big feelings. </span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s2">Also, point out when characters in stories (or people in real life!) successfully cope with disappointment. This offers the child yet another way to conceptualize how to process emotions.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s2">Physical outlets may calm the body and the nerves.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s2"><br />
</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s2">Physical outlets are effective for calming or venting. Deep breathing can calm the body and mind within a few seconds. Walking and moving the two sides of the body in conjunction can help the brain process information and feelings. Some children need deep pressure or to use larger muscles (pushing, pulling, carrying, punching pillows, kicking balls). Movement can be a useful tool, but if you find that these are the only way to calm your child, I will suggest seeking the guidance of an early childhood specialist who can help you and your child build internal coping mechanisms that can help circumvent such frequent major upsets. </span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s2"><br />
</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s2">Keep your cool.</span></div>
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<span class="s2"><br />
</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s2">The most important to remember is not to get too rattled by this. Your child will figure this out. You can trust that. You don't have to do this for her. Just be there and set appropriate boundaries so she can see where her own emotional uncertainty ends. It's not rocking everyone's world, just her own. And that's a safe feeling for a child, to know that she is contained, that her big feelings aren't rippling outward, endlessly causing everyone else's core to shake. She's being held by your firm parameters, your unyielding presence, and your trust in her to get through this.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s2">I hope this helps, and thanks for the question!</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<br /></div>
stephanieleahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09427676919832135865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676768560127959946.post-16942540272175595182017-03-22T13:55:00.002-07:002017-03-22T13:55:14.246-07:00Behavior Is A Question<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-UVU6ZiRVDdo/WNLknjuQAoI/AAAAAAABjY8/Uq9EEzF7d4Id-SPnLbRfbFEmtb5Ps4qJgCLcB/s1600/IMG_5256.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-UVU6ZiRVDdo/WNLknjuQAoI/AAAAAAABjY8/Uq9EEzF7d4Id-SPnLbRfbFEmtb5Ps4qJgCLcB/s320/IMG_5256.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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I recently observed this teacher-child interaction in my preschool classroom.</div>
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A teacher instructed a child to clean up the toys he had been using, to which he responded by rolling around, watching her and laughing. As he stuck his hand in a basket of toys and stirred it around loudly in a gesture of intentional non-cooperation, he was visibly entertained by the scene unfolding. I could see that he was as curious as I was about how this would go down. The power game was afoot.</div>
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It took every ounce of impulse control not to step in and "help" by enforcing her instructions so she could get due <a data-mce-href="http://beansproutspreschool.blogspot.com/2017/02/creating-environment-rooted-in-respect.html" href="http://beansproutspreschool.blogspot.com/2017/02/creating-environment-rooted-in-respect.html" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #ff6663; line-height: inherit; text-decoration: none;">respect</a> as a teacher. What I know from my years in early childhood education is that the best thing we can do is observe.</div>
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So, I waited and watched. I knew that this behavior was an offering of information about how this child perceives his relationship with that teacher.</div>
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A child's behavior is never "bad". Sometimes, a child's behavior is his only way of communicating to us. If the behavior is problematic for us, it is likely a reflection of a broader problem within the relationship.</div>
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Why is he not taking her seriously? He's wondering if she means what she says. He's unsure if he can trust her. He's insecure about the entire situation. And therefore, he continues to push the limits and continues his unresponsiveness just to see if things are the way they seem.</div>
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Simply put, his limit-testing behavior is a question. Or several questions.</div>
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<li style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><em style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">Do you mean what you say?</em></li>
<li style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><em style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">Can I trust you?</em></li>
<li style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><em style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">Can I lean on you?</em></li>
<li style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><em style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">Where does my power end and yours begin?</em></li>
<li style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><em style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">Is my world safe and secure, or am I untethered and out of control?</em></li>
<li style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><em style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">Will you still love me if I don't do what you say?</em></li>
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As I watched this interaction unfold, I knew that this moment could lead the relationship down one of many trajectories. This could be a defining moment, built on many defining moments before it. How would the outcome of this situation inform this child of where he stands in the relationship with this teacher, and in the world? What a massive concept for a child to discover through testing. But if not through the safe haven of preschool (or home), then where will he learn these powerful life lessons?</div>
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The follow tools will make interactions like this easier:</div>
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<strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">Offer choices</strong></div>
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Children are motivated by independence. Offering choices gives an appropriate amount of power back to the child. "Would you like to put the red ones or the blue ones away first?" This may or may not work, because ultimately the preference was to <em style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">not</em> clean up. One of the choices in the above scenario might be to honor that preference, and you can point out the cause and effect of each available choice. "You can choose to clean up now or in five minutes. If you choose to clean up in five minutes, I'd like you to sit next to this basket of toys until you choose to clean it up." If the child refuses to make a choice, you can let him know that you'll choose for him. "You can clean it up now, or I can clean it up for you. If you choose for me to clean it up, you will not be able to use it again until tomorrow".</div>
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<strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">Take yourself out of the equation</strong></div>
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Once the choices are presented, you are no longer part of the power dynamic. Had the child known and understood the expectation and the consequences of his choices, he could move forward independently. It is no longer a child vs. adult battle of wills. Nor would the teacher need to make it her agenda to make him clean up. We are simply acting as facilitators of the outcome. We narrate his choices, avoiding language like "I need you to" or "I would like it if". In this way, we take ourselves out of the equation.</div>
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<strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">Stay ahead of the behavior</strong></div>
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This happened right under our noses but if we had seen it happening we could have put some parameters on how many toys he was allowed to take out in the first place! Or we could have offered a little heads up, such as "I notice you're taking out a lot of toys. Remember, it will take a long time to clean those up!" Personally, I prefer not to interrupt play with my adult cautionary narrative. I like to see the children's process of exploration and creativity unfold organically, and if it means I have to clean up toys myself, I'm okay with that. However, since she had given him the instruction to clean up, the follow through became necessary.</div>
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<strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">Be firm, but not unkind</strong></div>
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Firmness communicates clearly. Wishy washy doesn't give clear expectations and boundaries. Children need to know what is expected. The teacher used a quiet voice thinking that this was kind and gentle. Instead, she should have been firm and clear and use an unquestionably audible volume. This is not to overpower the child, but to be sure everyone is on the same page.</div>
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<strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">Use clear, simple language</strong></div>
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The teacher used a lot of words and repeated herself several times, sending a subtle message that she did not expect the child to follow the directions. Our verbal and nonverbal communication conveys our belief in the child's ability to succeed or fail. By hovering over him and repeating her instructions, she displayed her lack of trust that he would do what she asked. She was prepared to physically enforce her instructions by helping him, and he knew it.</div>
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<strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">Take a neutral stance</strong></div>
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To reiterate, the adult is simply a narrator in the situation. She is not there to pass judgment on the child or his behavior. Her judgment should feel irrelevant. She simply points out his choices and their resulting consequences, and offers him the dignity to make a choice for himself. The more she judges, the more invested she becomes, and she is then in the power struggle once more.</div>
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Ultimately, the goal is for the adult and child to be in sync, in the harmonious dance of child and caregiver. Clear boundaries are important to establish consistency and trust. In this example, the actual cleaning up of toys is secondary. Effectively setting limits lets the child know that he is safe and contained within the adult's power so that he may then explore freely within the set parameters. But he will continue to test the limits until they are clear and consistent to him.</div>
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Remember that children are doing the best they can with their limited social, emotional, and cognitive resources. Try to understand the question hidden in the problematic behavior. Closely examine the ways your responses might offer information about the relationship that contribute to the problem rather than the solution. Continue to build the health of the relationship with each interaction. As the child grows to understand that the adult is a trustworthy, reliable, and powerful pillar, he will want to engage less in testing and more in enjoying life and play.</div>
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stephanieleahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09427676919832135865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676768560127959946.post-25773167777231069542017-03-11T08:54:00.000-08:002017-03-18T09:34:23.502-07:00Laughter in the Classroom<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-OWh-xME-lTw/WMNT_1PF5AI/AAAAAAABjX8/hPvnOFm31W0aEiriOHYfxGVZCU5-aIU0QCLcB/s1600/FullSizeRender%2B31.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-OWh-xME-lTw/WMNT_1PF5AI/AAAAAAABjX8/hPvnOFm31W0aEiriOHYfxGVZCU5-aIU0QCLcB/s320/FullSizeRender%2B31.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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There is a reason so many of us enjoy stand up comedy, funny sitcoms and movies, and being with our hilarious friends. Humor brings pleasure! Humor engages several parts of the brain (including pleasure centers), lighting up <a href="http://www.nea.org/tools/52165.htm" target="_blank">more parts of the brain than any other function</a> used in the classroom. When we tune in to humor, we become more deeply engaged in the task at hand, promoting better learning and retention of information. <br />
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The brain circuitry that responds to humor in the adult brain <a href="http://sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com/2012/02/01/healthwatch-stanford-study-shows-how-humor-activates-childs-brain/" target="_blank">is already present in school-aged children</a>, whose brains gain complexity as their cognitive skills develop. <a href="https://www.medicalcenter.virginia.edu/feap/work-life/newsletters/Humor%20and%20Stress.pdf" target="_blank">It is rumored</a> that the average child laughs 300-500 times a day, while adults laugh just 15 times on average per day. Whether or not the difference is so extreme, it suggests that children <i>need</i> laughter!<br />
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Humor is a <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/culture-conscious/201205/whats-funny" target="_blank">universal</a> human activity. Philosophers and scholars have spent centuries seeking to understand its origins. V.S. Ramachandran's <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9824844" target="_blank">false alarm theory</a> suggests an evolutionary significance of humor. For our ancestors, threats to survival were very real and immediate, and a laugh signals to others, "<a href="http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/442628-the-common-denominator-of-all-jokes-is-a-path-of" target="_blank">Don't waste your time</a> on this. False Alarm! We're not in harm's way".<br />
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Today, we can capitalize on the benefits of humor in the classroom and in the home. Here are a few of humor's benefits to children (and adults!).<br />
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<b>Relieve stress</b><br />
Humor <a href="http://sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com/2012/02/01/healthwatch-stanford-study-shows-how-humor-activates-childs-brain/" target="_blank">helps us cope</a> with disappointment and allows us to reframe negative events. Laughter leads to lowered blood pressure and a relaxed body, and <a href="http://www.humourfoundation.com.au/resources/seriously-funny-medicine/62-laughter-lowers-blood-pressure.html" target="_blank">reduces the production of stress hormones</a> by <a href="https://www.medicalcenter.virginia.edu/feap/work-life/newsletters/Humor%20and%20Stress.pdf" target="_blank">firing up and then cooling down</a> the stress response system. In the classroom setting, kids experience a range of emotions and feelings. Children have conflicts with one another, they feel frustration and disappointment, and even, at times, sadness. Humor can lighten the tension and allow us to bounce back with ease.<br />
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<b>Put mistakes into perspective</b><br />
Some children are sensitive and take it hard when they make mistakes or have to be corrected about their behavior. When adults find humor in our own goof-ups, we show children that mistakes aren't the end of the world. To err is human, so why not try to find a little humor in our errors and move on?<br />
<b><br /></b><b>Connect at a human level</b><br />
The <a href="http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/ejsp.1962/abstract" target="_blank">positive correlation between humor and liking</a> corroborates extensive research suggesting laughter strengthens interpersonal relationships. There is something priceless about finding people who will laugh with us. My closest friends bring out my own sense of humor and laughter. Think about it - how often do you laugh uncontrollably while alone versus with others? Laughter is often surrounded by people.<br />
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<b>Facilitate creative thinking</b><br />
Humor uses divergent thinking and thinking outside the box - two essential cognitive functions of creativity. <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-tao-innovation/201406/the-power-humor-in-ideation-and-creativity" target="_blank">Incongruity theory</a> describes humor that replaces logic and familiarity with the unexpected. Humor often plays on our mental and physiological anticipation of a predicted outcome - but something else happens instead. This kind of humor promotes flexibility in thinking and reasoning, a skill that teachers want to build in students.<br />
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<b>Humanizes and neutralizes the child-teacher relationship</b><br />
Even in the most egalitarian classrooms, the teacher is typically viewed as an authority. I believe this is as it should be - children derive a sense of trust and security from the adult's unyielding presence. However, we want children to feel comfortable, open, and honest with us even within this power dynamic. Humor promotes an easy, friendly atmosphere that sets a relaxed tone that welcomes open and honest sharing.<br />
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<b>The humor in bodily functions</b><br />
Bodily noises are funny to children. It's a natural part of childhood. Sadly, yet understandably, this type of humor is often shunned by teachers. We can trust that most children will, over time, internalize social etiquette, and learn not to laugh about flatulence <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJQoxdSFTJ0" target="_blank">in social or professional settings</a>. However, if you don't welcome this type of humor, create rules around it that don't shame the child for being a kid. Because let's face it - farts are funny.<br />
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<b>Humor is different than cheap entertainment</b><br />
While slapstick humor or extreme silliness by adults can be quite entertaining, it can also be obnoxious, intrusive and overbearing. In early childhood education settings, we want to offer children experiences that engage their participation and interaction. Appropriate classroom humor is not one-sided, but rather, it connects people and invites participation. <br />
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<b>About tickling</b><br />
Some may be tempted to elicit laughter by tickling. While some see tickling as <a href="http://www.slate.com/articles/life/family/2012/09/tickling_and_science_how_tickling_a_child_connects_parents_and_kids_.html" target="_blank">an important form of nonverbal communication</a>, conflicting opinions fear it can be abusive and <a href="http://www.handinhandparenting.org/article/tickling-kids-can-do-more-harm-than-good/" target="_blank">disrespectful</a>. Any game with children, tickling included, should stop immediately if the child shows any discomfort. There are many sources to offer guidelines on how to <a href="http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2010/04/30/tickle-me-not/" target="_blank">keep tickling games respectful</a> and <a href="http://www.handinhandparenting.org/article/tickling-kids-can-do-more-harm-than-good/" target="_blank">how to replace tickling with more beneficial forms of physical play</a>. Tickling should not replace meaningful physical and social bonding: hugs, hand holding, high fives, saying "I love you", active listening, doing activities together, being present for the child.<br />
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<b>Keep it real</b><br />
Teachers and parents must use humor mindfully. Children need space for authentic experiences. We must never assume that kids are only "okay" if they are laughing and smiling and visibly enjoying themselves. Humor should not be a way to sidestep normal and necessary childhood experiences of emotions like disappointment, grief, frustration, nor should it be used to manipulate children into feeling a certain way or controlling behavior. Laughter is one of many important experiences of childhood.<br />
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<b>Here are some ways you can facilitate humor in your classroom:</b><br />
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<li>Change words to familiar songs or stories.</li>
<li>Create rhymes and play on words. </li>
<li>Laugh at children's jokes. Sometimes I even comment, "Hey, you made a joke!"</li>
<li>Allow silliness to unfold (it will come up during singing, dancing, storytelling, make believe play, and any time children are socializing). This may require giving up some control of your classroom!</li>
<li>Find age appropriate jokes. The knock knock joke will always keep them thinking, participating, laughing, most likely, creating their own knock knock jokes! </li>
<li>Use objects in unexpected ways. This also allows children to use their imagination and think creatively.</li>
<li>Have one or two humorous books in the reading corner. (You may consider taking these out before rest time.)</li>
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Adults need to laugh, too -- here's my favorite funny video:<br />
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<br />stephanieleahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09427676919832135865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676768560127959946.post-74857572828133561012017-03-05T04:00:00.000-08:002017-03-09T17:34:09.882-08:00Weekend Q&A: Emotional outbursts at home<style type="text/css">
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<span class="s2">Welcome to my first Weekend Q&A, where I address real-life concerns submitted by real people. Since my blog is new and I am still establishing my “routine,” this first Q&A sesh comes via an unearthed email exchange from my archives.</span></div>
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<span class="s2">After responding to this question, I realized that there were simply too many topics involved to thoroughly address each of them at length. Instead, I’ll work to provide a general summary of the issues and redirect to pieces that discuss them at greater length as I build up a larger body of blog posts.</span></div>
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<span class="s2">Let me know if you have a question you’d like to see addressed in future articles or any additional advice that you have for addressing this specific issue.</span></div>
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<span class="s2">A few months back, I heard from a mom who was looking for an appropriate way to address her four-year-old daughter’s emotional outbursts. </span></div>
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<span class="s2">She explained:</span><br />
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<i>“I have such a hard time with this. I have this need to correct, probably where she gets her bossiness from. I would really love some support in learning how to phrase things. The calm voice/body, gentle touch, etc. are my go to phrases, but I am seeing that it is leading to a downward spiral and there are a lot of really intense meltdowns. I don't know how to get her out of them when she is in the moment, except to let her go through them, cry a lot and really hard.</i><br />
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<i>I have to take a break a lot of the time. They often happen in the living room/common space, and what we have been saying is that we can see that she is having a really hard time/feeling strong emotions, etc, and that it is ok, and we can do that in a safe space in her room or the play room, but that the living room is a space for peace and love. Maybe that is making her feel like we can't handle her, or like she can't be close to us? </i><br />
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<i>I don't know, but it is wearing me down. I'd love help.”</i></div>
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<span class="s2">My perception of this particular mom is that she is not controlling at all, but rather patient, attentive, loving, and present. Her daughter, like all children, needs a venue for emotional expression. However, this space can be designated with strong, clear boundaries to protect the rest of the family’s mental health.</span></div>
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<span class="s2">It’s natural to want to quiet down upset kids because we associate crying with an inherent lack of okay-ness. Keep in mind that your child can be perfectly fine even when she appears not to be, such as when she is screaming or crying.</span></div>
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<span class="s2">In the moment, remember not to try to fix her emotions. Note your own responses and remind yourself that the testing of such limits is perfectly normal—your child’s emotional outburst is just a part of her normal developmental process. You may even want to observe patterns surrounding her outbursts to understand what her triggers are—perhaps, no matter how much she may initially resist, she really does just need that afternoon nap after all!</span></div>
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<span class="s2"><b>Accept Her Feelings</b></span></div>
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<span class="s2">Rather than trying to modulate her emotions, just let your child be, even if she screams or sobs. Trust that she can handle her intense emotions and that learning to do so is a normal part of growing up. </span></div>
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<span class="s2">Your energy will communicate this understanding—by taking the position that she can handle her outbursts, her own emotions can become less scary and overwhelming to her. There’s nothing for you to fix—you are just there to be a witness to her experience. She needs you there to validate her experience simply by seeing her get through it on her own.</span></div>
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<span class="s2">When parents say things like, “shhh, it’s okay” and “you’re okay,” they unintentionally invalidate their child’s experiences. We know that she is okay, but telling her as much suggests that your version of “okay” is more important than her authentic experience of feeling <i>not </i>okay.</span></div>
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<span class="s2">There is no need to explain nor pacify. Identify the emotion in question, honor it and attend to your own needs: “You are feeling something that I don’t understand. It seems like a big feeling. I can give you a hug or a cuddle but, if you need to yell like this, you’ll have to find your own space because it’s too loud for us in here.”</span></div>
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<span class="s2">In this way, you differentiate between the feeling and the behavior. She is not her yelling. Rather, she is someone doing the yelling. You are not rejecting her, but rather the noise itself.</span></div>
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<span class="s2"><b>Model Self-Care</b></span></div>
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<span class="s2">When a child expresses herself in a way that is too loud, too physical, or just too hard for you and your family to handle, it’s perfectly fine to ask her to go to another room until she’s ready to come back more quietly (or safely, or whatever boundary you set up). This direction gives her the freedom to express the feeling, get emotional support, and have control over when she chooses to rejoin the common area.</span></div>
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<span class="s2">Just as importantly, however, you are indicating that you, as a person modeling self-respect and self-care, need a calm setting for your own mental health. It is important for parents to show children how to prioritize their own needs too, building both self-awareness and empathy.</span></div>
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<span class="s2">Children come to understand that parents have needs too and that there’s no need to apologize for getting these needs met. In the end, you may not get that quiet space, but don’t apologize for trying!</span></div>
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<span class="s2">I suggest reframing your living room description to help work toward this more peaceful environment over time. Designating your living room as a “space for peace and love” is a great start but it may be useful to make some nuanced changes.</span></div>
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<span class="s2">Communicate (with your words but mostly your demeanor) that love is a steady and stable presence, not dependent on behaviors or places. There is even love for and from her while she is having her outbursts! The idea that, if her emotions erupt, then peace and love may crumble is complicated and scary. These are big words and hard concepts—to think that emotions over which she has little control could have such power feels like a lot of responsibility for a child.</span></div>
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<span class="s2">Instead, try to be honest and tell her the truth: you need quiet space and calm bodies around the family.</span></div>
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<span class="s2"><b>Note Your Own Responses</b></span></div>
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<span class="s2">We all have different thresholds for handling noise and we all have unique and personal reasons for these limits. Do you feel like you dance around her possible meltdowns? Do you notice yourself staying ahead of them or walking on eggshells around your child to avoid them?</span></div>
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<span class="s2">Perhaps you are afraid of conflict, are highly sensitive to noise, or have experienced childhood trauma that makes such meltdowns especially difficult to handle. There are many possible reasons for your personal limitations and you don’t owe anyone an explanation for being you—just as your daughter is allowed to experience her big emotions, so too are you permitted to have your own complex feelings.</span></div>
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<span class="s2">I want to give you permission to accept your limitations and try not to tolerate more than you should. Your mental health is also important and an essential part of you being a good parent!</span></div>
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<span class="s2"><b>Remind Yourself that Testing Limits is Normal</b></span></div>
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<span class="s2">Your daughter receives ample love from you and your family, and she knows it. But, she’s a kid, so she may want to test this love/bond/trust at times. She may even find ways to do it that can trigger guilt in parents. Kids will go so far as to say, “You don’t love me!” or even “I will never love you again!” (these are actual examples that parents have shared) but they rarely, if ever, mean it.</span></div>
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<span class="s2">In such cases, children are typically just looking for the most powerful statement in their artilleries, curious to see what happens if they employ such harsh words. It’s not personal—they are just experimenting with power!</span></div>
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<span class="s2"><b>Observe Patterns</b></span></div>
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<span class="s2">Close observation can help avoid preventable challenges. Is there a pattern to when these meltdowns happen? Is it usually between playtime and dinner? Dinner and bath time? Weekends or weeknights?</span></div>
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<span class="s2">Identifying when problems come up during the daily or weekly routine can often point to an underlying cause (hunger, fatigue, anticipating transition). The answer to ending these outbursts could be as simple as adding in a mid-afternoon snack!</span></div>
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<span class="s2"><b>In Summary</b></span></div>
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<span class="s2">The bottom line here is that, when you’re clear that you are offering your child ample space for emotional expression and making sure she is seen and attended to, there is no reason to feel guilty about attending to your own needs and setting boundaries. Know that you are doing something positive when you model self-respect. You are creating a context for the expression of big emotions that works for you, your family, and your child.</span></div>
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<span class="s2">Accept your child’s feelings and model self-care during her outbursts. Then, note your responses and remind yourself that her behavior is perfectly normal. Once the outburst has ended, take note of possible factors—you may find that there is a pattern to her experiencing such strong emotions that can easily be handled.</span></div>
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<span class="s2"><b>For More Support</b></span></div>
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<span class="s2">No matter how long parents have been raising children, bringing up a child of your own can still feel like venturing into an uncharted frontier. For support understanding your children and helping them develop into happy, healthy, and mature adults, visit <a href="http://stephanieantoni.com/"><span class="s3">stephanieantoni.com</span></a>. You may even <a href="http://stephanieantoni.com/post-421/"><span class="s3">send your own question</span></a> to receive an in-depth response in a future blog post!</span></div>
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stephanieleahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09427676919832135865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676768560127959946.post-76309408725499166852017-02-24T07:50:00.000-08:002017-02-24T21:00:41.992-08:00Letting intuition take the lead<!--?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?-->
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">Two days ago, I had to make the decision to have one of my pet chickens put down. Her abdomen had filled with fluid, leaving her visibly uncomfortable with only a day or two left to live had I not intervened.<br /><br />The vet let me know that we had a couple of options. Both would prolong her life (by a week or by years), and both posed their own risk.<br /><br />Those who know me well, know that all of my animals, feathered and furry, are my children. And while many of you might be thinking, “it’s just a chicken!”, for me, the decision to put down Sunshine was not an easy one. Walking through these decisions, without any definitive, convincing facts to inform me of the “right” and “wrong” path, left me contemplating whether I was even capable of making a "right" choice. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">In these moments of disconnect between feeling and logic, is it okay to make decisions based solely on a gut feeling?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">Brain research tells us that the intuitive brain, dictated by the right brain and the limbic system, operates much faster, more efficiently, <i>and accurately</i>, than the slower, rational brain. The parts of the brain that control intuition have been around since prehistoric times and aided the survival of our ancestors.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">I had a friend just today tell me that he was hiking this morning and that something told him to STOP and abort the hike. Later, he heard from the rangers that mountain lions were roaming the area at that time, probably hungry after hiding from the intense rainstorms we've had the past couple of days. Listening to his gut may have saved his life, or at least one of his limbs.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"><br />It’s okay to not understand before we act. Sometimes there are things that we have to act on (or not act on) that are beyond our comprehension. Maybe our nonverbal and visceral understanding are <i>enough.</i><br /><br />I had a recent experience at work where I had to make a decision about "what is best for our school". I struggled with this decision as I tried to make sense of why I felt the way I did. I wanted to be able to convince myself and others unequivocally about why this was the right decision. Yet I found myself unable to provide a satisfactory argument. I would get glimpses of the <i>why</i> when I was deep in thought or just going about my day to day tasks (in other words, when my mind was preoccupied with other things), yet I could never fully articulate my rationale. I <i>perceived</i> that there was a reason...but <i>what was that reason???</i> Guided by intuition in a situation that would normally require hard evidence, I felt like a bad preschool director, a bad teacher, a bad person, even a complete failure at times, because I did not have a clear, verbal context for my decision.<br /><br />But maybe some things can only be experienced through a different set of receptors, processors, and intuitive layers.<br /><br />Maybe I'm having an experience that, just because I can’t justify in a court of law, or convince anyone else of the validity of my point, doesn’t make it any less credible or real.<br /><br />Maybe my own "right and wrong" are personal and don’t conform to conventional rules of debate.<br /><br />Sometimes I just have to do what I feel is right, even if what I “think” is best vacillates between multiple extremes, or is a vastly unpopular decision.<br /><br />Sometimes decisions and actions must be dictated by a deeper sense of knowing.<br /><br />In a recent study at Bangor University (<a href="https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2017/02/170217095857.htm" target="_blank">read about it here</a>), researchers demonstrate the brain's predisposition to appreciate poetry before the conscious mind detects what is happening. Professor Guiallume Thierry and his colleagues measured brain activity of participants and observed positive responses to poetic sentence structures even when the participants could not consciously identify the "poetic" source. </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "arial";">The inspiration was undetectable by the mind and yet was very real as measured by brain scans.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">So…there's a lot going on in the subtle, less attention-seeking parts of the brain.<br /><br />Internal wisdom may continue to evade my understanding, but the limitations in my meta-cognition won't stop me from making gut decisions.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">Children operate on the same platform that we do. I can trust their little impulses as part of this divine, yet quiet, intelligence. I don't have to correct the things they say and do because it doesn't fit into my expectations about logic and rational living. I can trust that their internal guidance system is based on a wisdom that, at some point in prehistory, may have meant our ancestors' very survival.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">I made the right decision about Sunshine. It was her time, and it was our time. I feel pretty sure about that. </span><span style="font-family: "arial";">Today I can accept the limitations of my thinking and just go with my gut. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">For more, visit <a href="http://stephanieantoni.com/">stephanieantoni.com</a> </span></div>
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stephanieleahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09427676919832135865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676768560127959946.post-11365454068765117552017-02-23T05:00:00.000-08:002017-03-21T12:30:31.974-07:00Creating an environment rooted in respect<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">For those of you who don’t know me on a more personal level, I run a preschool program from my home.<br /><br />One day, during preschool hours, my husband commented, “the kids all act like little adults.”<br /><br /><b>Raising Little Adults?</b><br />At first, I was stunned by his comment. On the one hand, I was worried because, when I imagine preschools that raise “little adults,” I think of private, academic-focused schools that aim to keep kids in line. These kids get a thirty-minute recess and a lot of strictly enforced quiet desk time. You know, kind of like a kid prison.<br /><br />That said, I knew what my husband meant. As someone who is in no way tuned in to child development and the subtleties of raising children, he had simply observed that our group of children display mature social skills. They treat each other with kindness, adopting a selfless, community-oriented attitude that exceeds their natural levels of development.<br /><br />All I could say was, “We treat them with respect. If we treat them like babies, they’ll just act like babies.” We treat the kids the way we want them to treat each other, and this serves as the basis for building a respectful environment.<br /><br /><b>Building Courteous Environments</b><br />Children raised in high quality environments that value both them and their play often show an elevated sense of respect for one another. Their teachers model respect for each other and respect for the children, highly valuing what children bring to the table. Children are active participants in their preschool experiences and learning environments, meaning that such places make respect for oneself and others far more likely to develop.<br /><br />When teachers treat playtime as a priority, recreation truly becomes the work of the child. And kids tend to take this work very seriously! It is during playtime that children open up the most to learning experiences and truly mature on a social level.<br /><br /><b>Acknowledgment and Growth</b><br />For me, the bottom line is respect. If I work at a job where I’m not taken too seriously, I treat my job as such—dismissively. But, when I’m acknowledged, considered a valuable part of the team, and treated with authentic interest, I rise to the occasion and flourish.<br /><br />We offer a similar experience in our preschool. We take children’s work (their play) as seriously as they do, and they both notice and reflect such behavior.<br /><br />Little adults? Maybe.<br /><br />Valuable community members who are aware of their own social and physical competencies? Absolutely!<br /><br />---<br /><b>For more, visit <a href="http://stephanieantoni.com/">stephanieantoni.com</a></b></span></div>
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stephanieleahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09427676919832135865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676768560127959946.post-1994953520545041532017-02-21T20:49:00.001-08:002017-03-21T12:31:01.282-07:00Kids make the rules here<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
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As adults, we often bring our "agenda" to the table when we work with children: we know what is right and wrong, fair and unfair; the children have problems, we have solutions. </div>
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I prefer to take the stance that it's more important for children to have ownership over their experience rather than have teachers depositing "wisdom" that the children follow. The more I let go of my opinions around right/wrong, the more children can attune to their inner wisdom.</div>
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With shifting group dynamics and children getting older, we find that the group as a whole is on a new part of the social/cognitive continuum. Therefore, we need to offer increasing independence as well as flexibility in the rules around social play. As they age, they assert more intentionality when choosing playmates and activities, which leads to more exclusion. This can leave other children feeling left out or excluded if they are not allowed to join into the play. </div>
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A few months ago, the children made a rule that it's never okay to exclude, and that we always need to include the person who wants to join the play. They seemed to make this decision based on their desire to be included themselves.</div>
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Since then, we've gotten more lax on the enforcement of this rule. Sometimes the kids focus on projects that span thirty minutes or more, and they don't want interruptions and conflicting agendas brought in by outside parties. If they work on a block tower for fifteen minutes, planning and coordinating and problem solving, I cannot in good conscience force them to include an outsider, who missed the whole planning phase. </div>
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Given the evolving social dynamics at play, we cannot arbitrarily enforce the existing rule, which now seems limiting and obsolete. </div>
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So today, we revisited our inclusion rule with a role play using stuffed animals, who had the option to include or exclude friends in their play.</div>
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As the children watched the make believe scenario unfold, they seemed conflicted. Our ensuing discussion revealed that they saw the value of both options - having the choice to exclude, or being forced to include outsiders. It soon became clear that we had to think of a new option outside of this black and white, either/or thinking. </div>
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I suggested that perhaps there is no rule, and that the teachers can help facilitate these scenarios on a case by case basis. They were very much on board with this. Some (but not all) kids offered valuable insight:</div>
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<li>One of the oldest children suggested that the children try to work it out and only get a teacher if they needed help, which we as a group decided was a great strategy. </li>
<li>Another student brought up a situation that she felt excluded and we were able to apply our new system to that. </li>
<li>A young four year old expressed that she didn't want to be excluded and that's why she wanted to include others. </li>
<li>Our young three year old said "one day I felt like I was including [my sister] but apparently I played with her so I included her" (which wasn't super constructive but highly relevant!). </li>
<li>One of the twos said she loves playing with people at home and at school. </li>
<li>An older student said it feels frustrating when people ask to play over and over again so we talked about how a teacher could help the children resolve this and make sure everyone feels heard. </li>
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So, we will try something new - a no-rules, case-by-case solution to the social dilemma of exclusivity. This approach feels more respectful to all parties. It will allow children who feel "excluded" to work through the accompanying feelings and explore other options (by choosing other playmates or things to do). It will help the children who want to exclude to feel less threatened as they express and perhaps resolve their concerns about why they don't want to include in that particular game.</div>
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More important than "fairness" is that children actively participate in their small community. We need rules to keep children safe (emotionally and physically) but we also want to model flexibility. We are teaching them to think, unconstrained by our agendas and our manufactured opinions about "right" and "wrong". We are choosing to step back and watch the children's awarenesses around inclusion/exclusion take root and see what arises. This feels like the best, more organic, learning rich solution available. For now.</div>
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For more, visit: <a href="http://stephanieantoni.com/">stephanieantoni.com</a></div>
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stephanieleahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09427676919832135865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676768560127959946.post-41831345712580483222017-02-19T20:17:00.002-08:002017-02-22T10:35:34.983-08:00Building trust with children<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Welcome to my revamped and renewed blog! I’m excited to share some of my thoughts about parenting, early childhood education, and child development with my readers. Because my book is in the middle stages of its life, this blog will provide a pivotal space in which to learn about my research ahead of my text’s publication in a more informal manner.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">As a scholar and an educator, if I had to distill my “mission statement” into one idea, I would emphasize my belief that, in order to be the best that we can be for our children, we must first build and maintain a strong foundation in the adult–child relationship. No element of child development is as significant as the parent/guardian–child relationship, while other adult–child relationships are also imperative.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">This first article offers an introduction to building, maintaining, and, if necessary, repairing the adult–child relationship.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Building Relationships With Children</span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Everything in childhood development boils down to our relationships with children. Altogether, in such affiliations, the adult’s role is to offer an unyielding presence and support that the child can rely upon, an essential element for healthy maturation.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Often, when I talk to parents about behavioral challenges they face with their kids at home, I find that the child’s trust in the adult has deteriorated for one reason or another. The love is constant but faith is simply lacking. Frequently, despite having the best intentions at heart, parents unintentionally send messages that convey a lack of trustworthiness. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">In particular, adults can undermine their credibility with children when they:</span></span></div>
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<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="line-height: normal;"></span><span style="font-kerning: none;">Make promises in order to bribe a child into doing something but then don’t follow through in hopes that the child will forget</span></span></li>
<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="line-height: normal;"></span><span style="font-kerning: none;">Threaten to take away a privilege if the child exhibits certain behavior (after which the child acts out the prohibited behavior and yet is still allowed the revoked privilege)</span></span></li>
<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="line-height: normal;"></span><span style="font-kerning: none;">Make an absolute statement but then cave in when the child whines or begs</span></span></li>
<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="line-height: normal;"></span><span style="font-kerning: none;">Make a rule but don’t enforce or follow up on it</span></span></li>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Losing a Child’s Trust</span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Children perceive such small inconsistencies and interpolate them into how they interpret their relationships with adults. Children tend to take what their parents and other grown-ups say at face value. The problem isn’t that they overtly stop trusting adults—the problem, the big problem, is subtler than this: children no longer view their parent/guardian as reliable due to this lack of consistency in their behavior, ultimately losing their respect for the adult’s authority. Children’s loss of trust toward the parent/guardian can be indicated by the following behaviors:</span></span></div>
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<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="line-height: normal;"></span><span style="font-kerning: none;">Pushing, nagging, and badgering (because the children don’t believe that adults will follow through with promised punishments)</span></span></li>
<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="line-height: normal;"></span><span style="font-kerning: none;">Repeatedly doing things that they have been asked not to</span></span></li>
<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="line-height: normal;"></span><span style="font-kerning: none;">Attention- and validation-seeking behaviors (because children want to be sure that they are loved—when everything else is questionable, such as during the maturation process, why wouldn’t a parents’ love be equally uncertain?)</span></span></li>
<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="line-height: normal;"></span><span style="font-kerning: none;">Ignoring the parent (because the parent will give up or lose it and yell eventually—such a point is actually indicative of when the child feels that he or she has finally received the adult’s attention)</span></span></li>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">All of these symptoms look like a child exhibiting “bad” behavior. However, such actions actually mean much more—after all, if the parent just followed through on the little things that they, consciously or unconsciously, let slide, the child’s sense of trust would have grown rather than dwindled. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">And with that trust would come the child’s responsiveness, sense of mutual respect, awareness of unconditional parental love, and a loss of the need to test the relationship’s integrity. Luckily, all of these developments are still possible—as the adult in the relationship, you can take charge and lead the two of you to a stronger foundation.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Once a child has begun exhibiting symptoms that show s/he has lost faith in an adult, it is essential to work to consciously rebuild this trust.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Some small steps can go a long way in strengthening this relationship, including:</span></span></div>
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<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="line-height: normal;"></span><span style="font-kerning: none;">Saying what you mean and meaning what you say</span></span></li>
<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="line-height: normal;"></span><span style="font-kerning: none;">Not confusing choices with directives. Note the difference between questions such as “can we leave now?” or “are you ready to come to dinner?” and statements like “it’s time to go” or “it’s time to come to the dinner table.” The former suggests possibility while the latter implies concreteness.</span></span></li>
<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="line-height: normal;"></span><span style="font-kerning: none;">Follow through with everything you say and, if you can’t, explain as much. Don’t just hope that the child forgets a promise of punishment or reward.</span></span></li>
<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="line-height: normal;"></span><span style="font-kerning: none;">Pay attention to the small ways in which you let things slide. If you tell a child that they can’t play with your keys but then get distracted and hand them over, your child will notice the discrepancy. You might be surprised at how small incidents like this can inform a child’s understanding of your relationship dynamic. Try to pay attention to such details—after all, if a kid can do it, so can you!</span></span></li>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Trust is considered one of the most meaningful aspects of all interpersonal relationships. However, this element is especially important in dynamics built between children and adults. If you notice that you have lost a child’s trust, ensure that you make every effort to rebuild it. After all, you have the upper hand as a grown-up. Plus, you have enormous influence over your combined future.</span></span></div>
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Beansproutshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13387723469724887825noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676768560127959946.post-66204900688306088452016-11-09T11:25:00.004-08:002017-03-05T20:17:24.484-08:00After the election<div style="text-align: center;">
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I think with the best intentions, we included children in discussions about the election. But I wonder - are kids really ready for the gravity of what's going on in the political arena?</div>
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How do we support children during this tumultuous political climate? How can we protect their childhood, protect them from political tensions and fears, while also using current events to extract learning opportunities that are age appropriate?<br />
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In these situations, I fall back to what I do best - let the children take the lead.</div>
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We sat down for circle time and, after singing a very lighthearted good morning song, saying each of their names with a "horray" that they came to school today, I asked if anyone had anything on their mind that they'd like to share about. Not a single child talked about the election. As we went around the circle, children shared about their upcoming playdates, injuries they've had recently, their siblings' birthday parties, where they're going to dinner tonight, what they brought to school today. The really, really important things for the kids. </div>
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The children seemed resilient to what is happening politically, and I guess my job is to preserve childhood in the best way that I can, by doing what I do every day - play. And if they are trying to sort out stuff they're hearing and seeing, it's going to come out in their play.<br />
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So here we go back to what we do every day. Foster love. Encourage children to live from their hearts and their own personal and pure sense of right and wrong. Focus on what binds us and unites us rather than what pulls us apart. Value what is important and give them a voice to express their feelings and thoughts and ideas. Be the outspoken leaders of tomorrow. And today.
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For more, visit <a href="http://stephanieantoni.com/">stephanieantoni.com</a> </div>
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stephanieleahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09427676919832135865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676768560127959946.post-50995706869028661152016-11-05T08:24:00.001-07:002017-03-05T20:21:41.253-08:00Seasonal changes in classroom dynamics<div class="p1">
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This week has been really amazing for me. Just seeing how grounded the social interactions have been in our philosophy and what we want for the children. Strong assertiveness coupled with sensitive responsiveness is something I aspire to myself with other adults as the children are modeling it right before me.<br />
As a teacher, I'm constantly looking at ways I can grow in how I support the children's optimal development. As we move into a time of year when the group has congealed and created their own unique group dynamic, different from any other constellation of children before them, they get into a very comfortable space where they test each other's limits and even test their own limits. What we often see this time of year leading into January is that the kids start exploring power dynamics. The good thing is they are so motivated to continue their games that they often self-correct and find their own answer to the question "where does my power end and yours begin?”<br />
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We've also seen a lot of bossiness arising. This is simply because they have strong opinions and haven't gotten to practice how to express them appropriately. They need practice!<br />
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My knee-jerk impulse is to shut it down. Pat phrases like "use a gentle voice" or "have a calm body" or "say that again more beautifully" solve one problem, but it's not the problem that Beansprouts wants to solve for the kids. The problem it solves? My need for them to talk the way I want them to (aka my need to control them).<br />
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The real problem? Helping them find an appropriate expression of power. They can express emotions and opinions while keeping others emotionally and physically safe. I trust them to be able to do this, so I don't have to hold their hand and lead them step by step (though some younger twos may require this). I trust that if I offer gentle parameters to what's appropriate and inappropriate, they will figure it out. I don't want to undermine my trust in them by sending a message that they are incapable of handling their own internal and external stuff. If I over-explain, over-empathize, I'm communicating my lack of trust in their ability to get thru it. <br />
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THAT SAID, they also need to know that ultimately we are there to support them.But when faced with situations involving strong emotions — rather than correcting their tone/body language, I'm trying to do more acknowledging of their need to express something big. I absolutely hate when I feel a big feeling and have no outlet. sometimes I need to swear or cry or shout. and...there are appropriate ways of doing that. I'm not gonna do it in front of the kids, or lash out at the bank teller. It's my job to find ways to appropriate handle my feelings even if they are overwhelming.<br />
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With the kids, statements of acknowledgment might be — "it sounds like you have something really important to say" or "you're feeling big feelings, but we need to find another way to express them" or simply "can you say how you feel without yelling at other people?". They don’t have the luxury of years of developing impulse control, and may need to be given some leeway, but eventually they will establish their own ways to cope if we can just hold the safe and loving (and reliable and firm), space to do so.<br />
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It sounds so basic, like preschool teaching 101, yet it’s something I must continually look at in order to avoid falling into bad habits.<br />
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On this Day of the Dead, I'm contemplating what we leave behind. In the context of working with children, I'm thinking about the memories and impressions I leave with the children that I interact with each day.<br />
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When I was a child, I went to preschool. We were not a family that could afford preschool every day, so I think I only went one or two days per week. And I remember very little about it. In fact, I have only two memories. One is being told that circletime has begun and I needed to come out of the play kitchen. My memory is not of the words, but of the feeling that I had gotten in trouble. Guilt. The other memory is of me crying at the door. Or maybe I was seeing someone else cry and taking on the emotions around it. It's foggy.<br />
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I remember small snippets of my childhood, brief interactions and the way I felt during those moments.<br />
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When I interact with children, I often reflect on what memory I will leave with them. What if this is that one memory that they carry away from preschool? What if this moment is my one chance to leave their lifelong impression of their first teacher? What if they don't remember my words, but remember instead the feeling that our interaction invoked within them?<br />
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Today's post, this post after years of absence from this blog, is a question...a reflection. Not a statement, nor an answer.<br />
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What can I do to take each moment as an opportunity to leave behind a legacy worth remembering?<br />
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<br />stephanieleahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09427676919832135865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676768560127959946.post-29129053735708810592013-07-02T15:04:00.000-07:002013-07-02T15:10:45.856-07:00Not Just Playing<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
In the realm of early childhood education, we are very aware of the fact that in quality preschool programs, children are "not just playing". We bring so much intentionality into everything we do and every activity we offer, taking into account children's interests, levels of development, and developmental goals for each child. </div>
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Free play is offered to children in abundance at Beansprouts Preschool. However, free play is observed and guided appropriately when children are unfocused or seem to need more grounding. A high level of awareness is necessary to assess where the children are on any particular day, and what they need from us. It is only on my very worse days as a teacher that I am just "getting through the day", meaning the activities aren't happening but they just aren't presented with the usual level of intentionality behind them. Most of the time, we plan specific activities, areas of the classroom, new works, and new games for the children with specific developmental goals in mind. Sometimes, this is intuitive. Sometimes we plan it out weeks ahead of time. Some days, the best thing for the children is to allow them to fully direct their own play. On other days, more teacher facilitation is needed. To the untrained eye, all of these approaches could look exactly the same. However, we work hard to implement a program that is "right" for each child. So while it looks like the children are "just playing", they are playing in an environment that we have set up with utmost care.</div>
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In this photo, K and C are using boats in a muddy river made by Sh. Just playing? No way! This is a two-year-old and a four-year-old completely engaged in give-and-take of truly cooperative play. The dialogue was rich with inquiry, as they checked in with one another to ensure they were both aligned with their self-created rules. Not to mention that they are playing in a river that Sh spent an hour digging and directing.</div>
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In the next photo, K is putting on dress-up clothes. In the safety of a costume, children get to take on other roles (which has much significance in their cognitive development), explore different parts of themselves, and interact in new and highly flexible ways with others. In pretend play, anything is possible!</div>
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If the significance of this activity seems obvious, well it is. Puzzles offer multi-level brain development. But the most important part of this activity was the teamwork involved in putting the puzzle together! </div>
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We make our own board games with our own goals in mind. For instance, in this board game, the sea creatures are trying to make it to the birthday party at the end of the game. But it takes more than one to have a party, so they wait for their friends to arrive at the birthday party before ending the game! This encourages team-playership and a sense of camaraderie. </div>
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Loose parts like these pool noodles are important in allowing us to tap into the world of the child. When they have loose parts to play with (blocks, sticks, rocks) that are completely open-ended, we get to see where their minds and hearts take them. We really get to know the children by observing their open-ended play.</div>
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Structured activities like this tracing and numeral matching work are offered as children begin to show interest and readiness in fine motor and academic learning. Because we work with a mixed age group, we don't impose a "way" to do this, but offer an option and allow them to use it in whatever way they are ready.</div>
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Sensory tables tap into parts of the brain that other activities simply cannot. The way children gravitate toward sand, water, and mud ensures us that these sensory materials fulfill something vital for them.</div>
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They aren't just playing, and we aren't just watching. There is a whole symbiotic, synergistic flow at work that allows the children to teach us exactly what we need to teach them. As one of my mentors used to say, everything we need to know is right in front of us. We just need to look to the child and listen for the answers.</div>
stephanieleahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09427676919832135865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676768560127959946.post-48115895968014113652013-02-27T15:32:00.005-08:002013-02-27T15:32:51.207-08:00Back To Basics<div style="text-align: center;">
Sometimes, between Pinterest and my obsession with preschool blogs, I lose track of the simpler things that children can enjoy each day. Over the past couple of weeks, and in the wake of our holiday curricula for Valentine's Day, Chinese New Year, and Purim, we're getting back to basics.</div>
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<b>Good Old Fashioned Painting</b></div>
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<b>Sensory and Science Play</b></div>
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(this is the remnants of one afternoon of dropping liquid colors into slime--exactly the type of mess that reflects the development of scientific inquiry!)</div>
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<b>Sand Play </b></div>
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(we finally re-created the sandbox and the children spend lots of time there, as this picture depicts well)</div>
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While we haven't been keeping current on our blog, we're still here doing fun things with the children each day (and of course, pinning a bazillion things on Pinterest!).</div>
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Until Next Time,</div>
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Stephanie</div>
stephanieleahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09427676919832135865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676768560127959946.post-79765365920472860922012-10-02T23:01:00.000-07:002012-10-02T23:03:06.427-07:00Our Surprise PumpkinLast year, as part of our science curriculum, we left a pumpkin to rot in our whiskey barrel garden. We watched for weeks as it got softer, moldier, and darker. Eventually, it went away completely except for a moldy little stem, not unlike the witch's hat left behind in <i>The Wizard of Oz</i>. However, unlike the wicked witch, our rotting pumpkin left behind something magical. Can you guess what that was?<br />
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A fertile seed, which sprouted this year. Nobody knew what was growing there, but over time we were certain it was a squash of some sort. It took a while before we even saw the fruit, as most of the flowers were snipped off at the stem by our local animal population. Birds and squirrels make our garden part of their regular morning route.<br />
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But one day, we saw something green and round...and now we have a big orange pumpkin! It wasn't until Guada pointed out that the seed came from our rotten pumpkin last year that we even made the connection. We got to watch the full cycle of reproduction in the most natural, seasonal form, right in our garden. Just one of many lessons inherent in our finely tuned relationship with mother nature.<br />
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<br />Beansproutshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13387723469724887825noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676768560127959946.post-10271936725852749392012-10-02T12:15:00.001-07:002012-10-02T12:15:42.756-07:00Apples<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">~Picking Apples~</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">~Drying Apples~</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">~Juicing Apples~ </span></div>
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Beansproutshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13387723469724887825noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676768560127959946.post-4852837346011714862012-09-17T21:30:00.001-07:002012-09-17T21:30:38.267-07:00Apples and Honey for a Sweet New Year!<div style="text-align: center;">
Nothing beats the sweetness of Rosh Hashanah, or Jewish New Year. Apples and honey offer hopes of a sweet new year, and also give us great focal points for the week's curriculum.</div>
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A couple of simple activity trays get us in the mood for our apple picking adventures at Gidzich Ranch!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sorting "apples" (wax paper balls covered in masking tape) by color into bushels (dixie cups covered in masking tape with masking tape handles)</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Stick the apples to the tree, then pick them off with the tweezers</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is why we have been continuously introducing new works...the children eat it up!</td></tr>
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It wouldn't be Rosh Hashanah if we weren't satisfying the sweet tooth with some honey cake. With a few adaptations, we used <a href="http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/Honey-Cake-108525" target="_blank">this recipe</a> and it turned out delish.<br />
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">L'Shanah Tova!</span></i></div>
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<br />stephanieleahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09427676919832135865noreply@blogger.com0